You just can’t resist jumping up and down on landmines can you? Which I find really strange here because you start this episode of your podcast talking about Bruce Jenner (this was before the Vanity Fair’s piece where she identifies as Caitlyn Jenner) and the issues of gender identity, pronouns, and orientation. You handled that so well that it hit me really bad when you answered a question from a straight ally that he should “go crazy” and eat the “bi pussy”. Then you tell him that he might even get laid, because there will be bisexual women there.
Now, I would think that most people, especially those in the LGBT movement, would know what’s wrong with this. But just in case I’ll try to explain everything wrong here.
- You should have just stopped with “don’t eat the pussy, it’s not for you”. That still wouldn’t have been great, as the only person who can tell you if a set of genitals is for you is the owner of said genitals.
- There is no such thing as “bi pussy”, there are bisexuals that have pussy’s, but by saying “bi pussy” you are contributing to the objectification of bisexual women.
- When you tell him that he “might even get laid” you’re perpetuating the myth that bisexual women are always sexually available to men.
- Bisexual women who do go to Pride events are not there looking for men. From my experience most are not looking for any sexual partners, but if I’m wrong and there are women looking for some happy naked fun time then they are looking for it from other women, and not straight men.
- This straight ally didn’t even suggest that he was interested in sexual experiences at Pride, so there’s no reason for you to even bring it up.
So, what should you do now? How can you fix this?
As I tell most people who accidentally say something biphobic, and I do believe that you didn’t intend to be biphobic here, the first step is to apologize. Tell the bisexual women out there that you were wrong to indicate to a straight guy that it was okay to hit on them at a Pride event. Matter of fact you should apologize to all women for leading some men into thinking they could meet women at Pride. I understand that you thought you were being inclusive with your “bi pussy” comment, but this sort of objectification is one of the worst bits that bisexual women have to deal with.
I understand you are trying to improve, but until you start treating bisexuals as actual people, and not just genitals, you will not be forgiven by the bisexual community. I continue to enjoy your column and podcast and agree with most of your advice. Hopefully you’ll take my advice and we can mend fences.